Ridiculous Things Pre-Meds Say

Flickr | LaBohem

Flickr | LaBohem

Getting a medical school acceptance is one of the most exciting moments in a Pre-Med’s life. We found that this joy might alter the state of mind of some students, in turn causing them to post some pretty ridiculous things on internet blogs. After reading through The Student Doctor Network thread “Class of 2017”, we found a few of these gems to share with you.

Pre-Med #1

Haha! I actually created a formula to determine the price of dinner:

If you win (your guess <= my score) then I will buy you a dinner according to the brackets below:

Guess: 1-20 then (score/10) ie. You guess 15 then I will buy you a dinner that costs at least than 1.5$
Guess: 21-27 then (score/8)
Guess: 28 – 29 then (score/5)
Guess: 30-38 then (score/2)
Guess 39+ then (score/1)

This is to limit the amount of people who guess low numbers to insure free food and to reward someone who takes in insane guess by guessing >39 which is almost statistically impossible.

If I win you owe me a dinner according to the following formula

(Your Guess – My Score) x 2

I.e. if you guess 35 and I score a 28 then you owe me a 14$ dinner.

Well even if I don’t do well I am planning to make sure everyone else does equally bad. (not you guys but the people at my testing center) I am going to show up in a suit and get the early be like:

“You know medical schools get a picture of you on your MCAT date (they do) and they totally judge it based on professionalism (they don’t).”

“Didn’t anyone tell you that you have to be dressed up for the MCAT?”

“Good thing they added that statistics section and took out the Bio Sci section…”

At Break/after test:

“Omg that passage on _________(insert random topic that wasn’t on test) was so easy! I hope no one accidently skipped it because it was like free points!”

“Did you catch all the tricks on the passage about ___________(insert topic that was on test). They made it seem really obvious but in fact it was super abstract and complicated!”

Way too much planning went into this…

Flickr | trindade.joao

Flickr | trindade.joao

Pre-Med #2

For some reason I look/feel very hipster right now. This is disheartening.

This is….random

Pre-Med #3

Hahahaha TMAN YOU B-STARD, I lol’ed so loud at this that my dad ran into my room thinking I was gutted by a kidnapper or something. But no, I was laughing at something on SDN, and he was like “*rolls eyes* Stop wasting time on that SDN“.

About the hipster look, Tots, you know what’s sad? I was shopping with my friends yesterday, and asked them for opinions for a new-ish look. I described what I wanted to them, and then described what kind of shoes I wanted. Then they said, “Are you sure you’re not Asian?”

LOL

Response to Pre-Med #3

Hahaha. Glad I could give you a laugh  And yeah, I was really surprised you weren’t Indian or something. Not surprised your friends think the same

“I was really surprised you weren’t Indian or something.” … What does that even mean?

Pre-Med #4

dude seriously go look at their thread: some dude named musclemedicine is totally like, hating on me!! I asked him why..his reply:

‘”caligirl”

you are showing signs of entitlement…

“bitchin”

you are showing signs of self-righteous entitlement…

“porsche”

you are showing signs of self-righteous entitlement via your parents’ finances…

Some serious drama on SDN.

Pre-Med #5

dude I don’t ask my parents for makeup or clothes for christmas, I ask for books and they still deny me

they tell me i study too much

i’ve done pretty extreme stuff in terms of studying and not going out..

meh..its honestly stupid of me..i’ve ended up in the hospital for studying too much..  really embarrassing

Totally normal…

Pre-Med #6

Shout out to all the fat dudes wearing their sisters skinny jeans

Shout out to their poor sisters.

Flickr | mike force

Flickr | mike force

Pre-Med #7

I blame google for every relationship I ever had going to the ****ter. Cuz i share a computer..they’re like “oh i wanna search apples” then Asian azz porn pops up…as soon as you hit the A. Google’s like oh you don’t have to type another letter i know what your looking for…google needs to at least make them type 3 letters before they jump to such a bold conclusion…

The fact that he hasn’t figured out how to clear history gives me little faith in his career as a doctor…

Pre-Med #7

I messed up putting a new screen cover on my iPhone last week. Been phoning nude ever since, feeling like a G.

Response to Pre-Med #7

Damn bro you live on the edge!

“Living on the edge” is one way of putting it

Flickr | Jason Buzi

Flickr | Jason Buzi

Pre-Med #8

 The girl I like got a boyfriend. And the other girl I like doesn’t like me. Women are nuts. Forever alone.

Response to Pre-Med #8

We still love you Procyon besides, you’re moving away in a couple months to be a medical student (even if you go to the same school, it’s a mental move). Your superficial value is going to shoot way, way up. Do you really want to invest in an anchor now?

Yeah, you do, but I think in a year or two you’ll be glad you didn’t. I hope that bright future will be yours soon, even if right now things aren’t so great

Getting a little deep here

Pre-Med #9

You all need to step up your game. I say we start tallying this up on an official scoreboard. I’m prepared to throw my life away to prove that I stalk SDN the most.

This Pre-Med is talking about tallying up how many times a person’s post appears at top of the page…This takes pre-med competition to another level

Flickr | rb3m

Flickr | rb3m

Pre-Med #10

quick question, I omitted something from my activities on amcas, should I update schools with it? It was the fact that I am a Colombian drug lord.

Response to Pre-Med #10

As long as you learned from what you did and have a contact person who can vouch for your experience I say go for it. Sounds like a unique opportunity that could really make your app stand out.

Pre-Med #10

Ya I’ve got a few bounties on my head so maybe I can use those for proof. I think its a good leadership experience.

While normally you would assume these comments are sarcastic, after reading some of the other posts it’s difficult to jump to that conclusion.

Pre-Med #11

People are playing so dirty here. There’s only one real way to settle this… SDN MONOPOLY GET TOGETHER!!!

Is this how premeds set each other straight?

Flickr | SydesJokes

Flickr | SydesJokes

Pre-Med #12

lets be honest, we all do this:

student 1: “You ever hear of SDN?”

me: “oh uh yeah..ive heard about it but never really used it…  “

Rule #1 in med school: NEVER ask this question…dead give away that you stalk SDN

Pre-Med #13

Ohhhh man our class is pretty awesome

We think so too.

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Ieroo Park

Ieroo is an editor for The Almost Doctor's Channel. He graduated from Boston College with a degree in English, and is looking forward to becoming an "Almost Doc". In his spare time, he enjoys playing basketball, tennis, and taking selfies with Dr. Ruth.

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