Study Finds 98% of Toddlers Are Against Routine Immunization

VISTACREST, CO – It appears parents aren’t the only ones worried about the effects of aggressive vaccination schedules in Western medicine. A new study published this week in the Journal of Alternative Immunotherapy suggests that nearly 98% of children aged 2-3 are strongly opposed to the current practice of routine childhood vaccination. The study was elegant in both its scope and simplicity. Over 12,000 randomly selected children aged 24 to 36 months were allowed to see the standard injection device and then asked, “Do you want to get a shot?” An astounding 98% of respondents expressed preference against routine immunization. After watching a five minute educational video about the possible role of vaccination in public health, nearly all of those surveyed re-affirmed their initial position as opposed to vaccination. In a follow-up, post-immunization survey (“Would you like another shot?”), nearly 100% said that they would decline future immunizations. While the world of pediatric medicine grapples with the study’s implications, many children are crying out for a moratorium on further injections while the evidence is reviewed. For additional coverage of the ongoing controversy regarding childhood immunization, see “New Study Links Childhood Vaccinations to Bad Manners Later in Life.” As always, the DME remains your source for the latest in medical research and groundbreaking discoveries. —————————– DISCLAIMER: All stories, quotations, medical reports, studies, and news entries are fictitious and fabricated for...

I Would Suck at Being Poor and So Would You

I was thinking today how bad I would be at being poor. I’m great at being broke. I handle broke like a champion. But broke isn’t poor. Broke is temporary with better things as a possibility. Poor is generally permanent; at the very least it feels that way. Poor has no clear way out. You can’t just hang in there until things get better because probably they won’t. Being poor wouldn’t make me smarter or a better person than I am now. It would give me a different skill set, yes, but less formal education. So if I were poor, I’d most likely make all the same dumb mistakes I make now but there would be much higher stakes. Every bad choice would drive me deeper into a hole instead of merely keeping my retirement account from growing properly. I’d buy my kids toys when they opened their eyes all big and asked nicely, even when they don’t need them. Even if I knew the toys were junk and going to break soon. I’d pay extra for the backpack that will help make my son fit in at school instead of the practical one. I’d probably even get myself the occasional treat I didn’t need. And I would hate being poor. I wouldn’t be poor but happy. I’d be poor and miserable. I’d know there were better things out...

If You Aren’t Sure If They’re Flirting With You, They’re Flirting With You (Unless They Aren’t)

Yeah medical school is hard but do you know what’s even more difficult? Being able to tell if that girl or guy creepily staring at you is actually trying to flirt. You may have aced your last pathology exam but this lesson is one you won’t want to miss… Now I was downtown clubbin’, ladies night – seen shorty, she was crazy, right? And I approach baby like, “Ma, what’s your age and type?” She looked at me and said, “You’s a baby, right?” I told her, “I’m 18 and live a crazy life.” Okay, I admit it – those are the lyrics from Juelz Santana’s verse in Cam’ron’s “Hey Ma.” I was hoping to just paraphrase that song for the entirety of this article, but it turns out that Cam’ron lyrics are like Latin: they sound nice when someone else recites them, but reading and understanding them takes years of rigorous training. Here it goes: flirting is a complex endeavor in which you are constantly trying to figure out A) Whether or not the other person is indeed flirting with you and B) Whether or not they mean anything by it. In my experience, the relationship between flirtatious actions and actual intent follows a sort of bell curve. Below is a textbook-quality graph that I spent large portions of the Obama Administration attempting to create in Microsoft Word...

How Cartoons Helped This Student Pass Her Boards

Congratulations to all of our MS2 who recently took the dreaded USMLE 1 Exam!  Unfortunately, much of medical school is about memorization – but believe it or not, there is a science to memorization. I learned this from one of our students who describes her experience meeting a ‘memory champion’ and picked his brain for some memory tricks for Step 1, including cartoon images. As I’ll be speaking at the upcoming Comics in Medicine conference here in Chicago this weekend, it seemed fitting to let her describe her journey. The following was written by Gabrielle Schaefer… Right around the time I was beginning an epic five-week studying stint to prepare for STEP 1 of the Boards, Joshua Foer happened to be a guest on The Colbert Report (my go-to 20 minute study break). Joshua Foer is this ridiculously young and talented journalist who won the US Memory Championships (yes, this exists). If his name sounds familiar you may be thinking of Jonathan Foer, his equally talented older brother who is also a writer. Anyway, Joshua Foer was promoting his recently released book “Moonwalking with Einstein:  The Art and Science of Remembering Everything.” The book is about memory and his adventures in the world of memory competitions. Apparently there is a small group of people who get together each year and have memory competitions which consist of several memory “events” including faces of strangers, poetry, random words, numbers, binary...

10 Things That Keep Med Students Up At Night

Sleep is cherished by medical students especially because there is often little time for it. And, when there finally is time to catch some precious Zs, there are several things that stand in the way.   The 10 things that keep med students up at night are…   1. Exams- this is seriously the last time you’re going to procrastinate studying in med school. 2. WebMD- your girl tagged you in a photo from last weekend, and it kind of looks like you have adult retinoblastoma. Now you are TERRIFIED. 3. Facebook- you’re really, really going to get serious about that exam after you browse through all of your hot ortho resident’s college lacrosse photos. 4. Google- you’re just too afraid to tell your attending on rounds tomorrow that the answer to his obscure question doesn’t exist. 5. Pubmed- you’re not 100% sure that you know how to search correctly, but the answer doesn’t seem to be there either. 6. NBME website- you just know your step I/II results will be here 3-4 weeks early, so you check every single night…multiple times a night. 7. SDN- your step I score isn’t there, so you refresh the SDN Official Step I Scores and Experiences thread until someone posts something at 8:01 am E.T.  on release day. 8. 24 hour call- it’s 3:00 am in the OR and you’re trying to remain conscious to avoid dropping the retractor or...

The Devil Wears Scrubs

Dr. Fizzy of A Cartoon Guide to Becoming a Doctor presents her new book about the hell that is intern year….     “Newly minted doctor Jane McGill is in hell. Not literally, of course. But between her drug addict patients, sleepless nights on call, and battling wits with the sadistic yet charming Sexy Surgeon, Jane can’t imagine an afterlife much worse than her first month of medical internship at County Hospital. And then there’s the devil herself: Jane’s senior resident Dr. Alyssa Morgan. When Alyssa becomes absolutely hell-bent on making her new interns pay tenfold for the deadly sin of incompetence, Jane starts to worry that she may not make it through the year with her soul or her sanity still intact.”   Featured image taken from Flickr | the...

The Best Critique of Alternative Medicine

We all believe in science. That’s why were “almost” docs, docs or pre-“almost” docs. Ever get SUPER angry when you hear about an herbal remedy to replace aleve or other painkillers? If you do, this video is for you. He says it all – but in a brilliant Shakespearian sort of way that I would never be able to. It’s worth the watch!   Featured Image is a screen shot from the above...