How Accountable Care Will Change America

David Sayen, the regional manager for the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, discusses the shift in health insurance programs from fee-for-service to an accountable care model. Reimbursement will be based on results, as opposed to type or quantity of procedures. He explains that the relationship between health care providers and programs, like Medicare and Medicaid, will change as the United States moves closer to healthcare reform. Filmed at FutureMed, in February, 2012, at Singularity...

Wild Worries of a Med Student

I lost my pager a few weeks ago. For most, the pager is a vestigial apparatus from the days before mobile phones, wireless, and permanent connectivity. But there was a dark time, not so long ago, when pagers were the only handheld device that worked in hospitals. Those black blocks managed to transmit signals, traveling, like Buzz Lightyear, to infinity and beyond. In some basement corridors, they still outperform iPhones, Blackberries, and possibly landlines. Imagine a flamingo without the pink, an elephant without its trunk, or a toilet without toilet paper. That’s a medical student without its pager. At first, I was resigned. I informed all and sundry, “dude, I lost my pager.” At first, it was refreshing. But soon, I became persona non grata on my team… the annoying person who had to be contacted through email or patchy 4G. I felt like a puppy without a leash. A few weeks in, it was becoming evident that I could not continue like this. In fact, it was blatant that I had neglected to replace my pager. The place where my pager used to be mocked me. It haunted my right pocket like a mournful ghost. I constantly reached for the phantom and made contact with air. Air and a hollow plastic case, clipped to my white coat, empty and silent. My phone dropped texts when I wandered the subterranean hospital...

These Students Know the Power of a Compliment

Stony Brook Compliments, a Stony Brook University club dedicated to spontaneous acts of kindness, surprised a night-shift worker at their local Dunkin’ Donuts with thanks and applause. It’s pretty inspiring what a couple of minutes out of these students’ lives can mean to someone, and how easy it is to do good in the world. Watch the video below for the whole...

Geneticists Astounded by Royal Baby’s Shocking Resemblance to Queen

LONDON, UK – British geneticists marveled this week over the first of several leaked photos showing rare initial glimpses of Prince George of Cambridge, the newest potential heir to the throne of Great Britain. Medical scientists are baffled by his full set of adult teeth and his striking resemblance to his great-grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II. Questions about the oddities of the royal gene pool have persisted throughout Western history, but this latest twist in the chromosomes has doctors everywhere scratching their heads. Although some skeptics have questioned the validity of the pictures, arguing that they look digitally altered, we have no reason to doubt their authenticity. The DME will continue to keep you informed as further information and photos are released. —————————– DISCLAIMER: All stories, quotations, medical reports, studies, and news entries are fictitious and fabricated for the purpose of satire.  Any relationship to actual events present or historical should be considered coincidental. The DME uses invented names for people, businesses, and institutions in its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is...

7 Ways to Survive a Pimpin’

The term “pimping” was first used in 1628 by a London doctor named Harvey. “They know nothing of Natural Philosophy, these pinheads,” he wrote. “Drunkards, sloths, their bellies filled with Mead and Ale. O, that I might see them pimped!” Though certain aspects of this particularly caustic statement may in fact  hold true to this day, the term may not stir many fond memories among those in the medical community. Pimping occurs when an attending asks a series of extremely difficult questions, in rapid-fire succession, to an intern or medical student. It is an age-old tradition, perhaps as old as medicine itself, yet the experience still overwhelms even the most courageous of interns. Here are 7 tips to make a pimping a little less painful. 7. Practice The pressure of answering extremely difficult medical questions in front of peers (and oftentimes patients) will get to anyone. The key to dealing with this is practice. So grab a book and a friend, flip to that section of your case, and have them drill you like there’s no tomorrow. 6. The Bathroom Refresher Excuse yourself from surgery, blaming that troublesome overactive bladder of yours. Bring your book or phone. Cram. Sidle back in armed to the teeth with answers. 5. If you don’t know the answer, don’t try and make it up. Offer to look it up and discuss it the next time you have rounds. Show...

The Best* Free Medical Ebooks

*Amazon has wonderful (and, um, not so wonderful) free books for Kindle. Lately I’ve been perusing their offerings for topics in medicine. While the books are hilariously outdated, they provide some very valuable insight into the evolution of thought on medicine– and provide some great pointers on keeping your body well. 1. The Ladies Book of Useful Information compiled from many sources Have you ever “forgotten how to woman?” Than this book might be for you! With chapters on Personal Beauty, Marriage, Sexual Intercourse, and — of course — Childbirth, this book will assist you on your journey to womanhood. This text warns that if a young girl is not properly (and primly) informed of her impending menses, she might well die of consumption! “… when she observes a flow of blood escaping from a part, the delicacy attached to the locality makes her reticent with regard to inquiry or exposure; she naturally becomes alarmed, and most likely attempts to stanch the flow by bathing or applying cold water to the part, thus doing incalculable mischief.”  After you’ve completed the chapter regarding menstruation, I suggest you skip ahead to Chapter 5, entitled: “Sexual Intercourse — Its laws and conditions — Its use and abuse,” wherein the author assures young women that they “can perfectly restrain the sensual part of their natures whenever they have a strong motive to do so.”     2....

Watch This Google Glass Demonstration On Beginning a Patient Exam

Do you find yourself questioning how to best begin a patient examination? Or how about wondering what the perfect exam looks like from the doctor’s point of view? Stanford physician Abraham Verghese answers both of these questions in this short, but interesting video. Here’s the secret: it’s all in the hands. Verghese created Stanford Medicine 25, an initiative comprising workshops and videos that teach the 25 most essential techniques for examining and evaluating a patient. Although he is probably the first accused Luddite to do so, Verghese is not the first doctor to use Google Glass for medical...