lifestyle

C. Diff, R. Kelly, Sinister Brownies: It’s Doctors Today.

From time to time, even the normally cheery crew at ZDoggMD Industries will feel the need to vent about our frustrations as physicians. Take last Thursday, for example. We were all chilling at the ZDoggMD clubhouse for our monthly mahjong game night. The collective angst was palpable, as we halfheartedly lay down our tiles. The gloomy silence was punctuated intermittently by ZDogg’s overly dramatic sighs—clearly a plea for one of us to ask him what was wrong. As usual, our staff radiologist Dr. Diego took the bait.  “You seem upset, Z,” he said, his cherubic face positively exuding empathy. “Can you blame me?” ZDogg replied, as he gnawed at the remnants of his deep-fried pork loin. “I spent 2 hours today talking with the family members of one of my patients who just survived a massive heart attack.” After a theatrical pause, he slammed a pudgy fist down on the table, shrieking, “NOT ONCE did they compliment me on the genius of my videos, nor did they worship me as befits an internet celebrity of my…”   Another Victim of R. Kelly’s Micturition “I lost another one today,” I interrupted quietly. Even Dr. Z had the decency to stop his tirade mid-sputter, noting the solitary tear trickling down my cheek. “I saw a 6 month-old infant who had been exclusively breastfed his entire life—until today, when his father gave him a...

Why Are We Doing This? An “Almost” Mission Statement

 “I am the voice of my generation. Well, maybe a voice.” – Lena Dunham, Girls (HBO) ________________________________________________________ Two days ago, I was ordering an iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts when I witnessed something rather remarkable. An old man walked in and ordered right after me.  The sweat on this guy’s gray t-shirt ran down from his neck, creating a deep and dark V shape, and his blue jeans almost sagged to the floor off the weight of his utility belt. “A to Z Construction” his shirt said on the back. “Dark roast iced as big as they get,” he told the woman at the register. “At least they got us drilling inside half the day. This summer heat…woo-wee,” he continued. “Mmm-hmm,” she responded. She took his money, handed him a receipt and he came over to stand with the rest of us waiting hopefuls. A twenty-something kid walks in and right up to the old man. He says he found a wallet on the job site and that the wallet has 300 bucks in it. He’s giddy because he needed to get his girlfriend a gift anyways and thinks the pink wallet is perfect. The old man responds (and this is the amazing part), “Act only on maxims through which you can will become universal laws.” “Wha’d you say?” the kid replies back, dumbfounded. “What if some girl found...

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